Love and Respect - A lesson on the subject of Love.

Good morning and welcome to our new lesson series which is to be based on the book “Love and Respect” written by Dr Emerson Eggerichs, and published by “Focus On The Family”.

I want to start by playing a song written by two of the great theologians of our time on the subject of “love”, let’s see if you recognize it. (Play “All You Need Is Love” by the Beatles) Can anybody tell us who recorded this song and who were the theologians that wrote it?

Let me tell you something about the song that has faded into the mists of time. That song was first performed on June 25, 1967 during the very first global satellite link live show called “Our World”, it was broadcast to 26 countries, and an estimated 350 million people watched it. It became one of the Beatles most famous songs as a result. BTW you can watch the performance on “you tube” if you are interested, it has over a million hits since it was put up, and has a cameo appearance by another theologian called Mick Jagger!

You have to admit that this is a very intriguing start to our study, and there is a reason for it, can somebody guess what it might be? If you guessed that it sort of represents the worldly view of love you were right.

I want us to listen to the song again, but this time I’m going to hand out the words so we can follow along more closely. If you have a pen write down your initial impressions of the message the song is conveying to a listener.

(Play song again)

What are your impressions? What message does the song communicate? (Discuss) Does the song define love in any way? Does it transmit a value about love?

Are there any other messages about “love” that our popular culture suggests to us in our day to day living?

· Love is a feeling.
· Love can be earned.
· Love is conditional.
· Love and sex are the same thing.

Now for one of my favorite things to do, let us see what Webster’s dictionary says the primary definition of love is:

An intense affection for another person based on personal or familial ties.

There is another secondary definition:

A strong affection for or attachment to another person based on regard or shared experiences or interests.

Webster is saying that love is a noun, making it a “thing”, and that the thing is an emotion, most closely expressed as “affection”. This emotion is based on “relationship” in the primary definition or the “object” in the secondary or lesser definition.


Now let us compare our own observations with what Scripture says.

In the OT or Hebrew section of the Bible, we see love expressed in three forms or words, all translated as love in English.

Dt 6:5 - You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. NASU

Love here is the Hebrew word “Aheb” and is used when intensity of positive feeling is meant to be highlighted. It is the word that God uses to describe His whole approach to His relationship with us, and the word He uses to describe how He wants us to view Him

Ex 34:6 - Then the Lord passed by in front of him and proclaimed, "The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; NASU

The Hebrew here is “Hesed”, sometimes said as “khased”, it is often translated as goodness or mercy. In the KJV it is translated once as “wicked thing”. The emphasis here is the bond between two people, focusing on attributes like loyalty, fidelity and forgiveness.

Also from Ex 34:6 the word spoken as “compassionate” here is a variation of love in Hebrew, “Raham”, meaning a loving attitude toward someone.

In the NT, and contrary to what some have taught there are only two Greek words that we translate into love for our English language Bibles. Let us look at them:

John 13:34 - "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” NASU

This is Jesus speaking to His disciples, and He uses the word “love” three times. The Greek word here is “agapao”, which a willful or purposed sense of affection for another. The grammatical form here is important. Jesus words are spoken as a verb, indicating that he is speaking of love as an action we take. The “thing” version, which we grammatically call a noun is “agape”, and this was is normally taught about in Bible classes.

The second word is found in John 21:15-17:

So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Tend My lambs." 16 He said to him again a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, " Shepherd My sheep." 17 He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus said to him, " Tend My sheep. NASU

Peter’s response to Jesus in each of these three verses includes the other “love” word, “phileo”, which means “brotherly love”, as in the city of brotherly love (Philedelphia). Jesus though uses the word “agapao” in verse 15 and 16, but switches to “phileo” in verse 17. Why do you think this is?

The third word, which is mentioned in some study texts, is the word for romantic love, eros, this is not in Scripture.

When Jesus came He brought a new concept of Agape love with Him. Although it is implied in the Old Testament it was a spiritual principle that could only be fully revealed through Jesus himself. Jesus raised the understanding of love to a new level by His teachings, and then in a final act, His personal sacrifice.

He changed love from a strictly emotional definition to an active definition. Love, instead of being at it’s best, an intense emotional state, became a choice we made about what we thought, how we felt and how we acted toward others. This concept of love as a volitional act is not found in the doctrines of any other religion, it is a uniquely Christian principle. It was Christ Himself who did this, and there have been no discovered writings before the time of Christ that talked about love in this way. Agape to pre-Christian Greeks meant a “general affection for” someone or something.

The term “agape” love does not always mean a Godly love, in 2 Tim 4:10 we see this:

For Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica; Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia. NASU

The Apostle Paul here is using love to indicate how someone might actually choose to love the world and not God, that is in a freewill and informed action. Do we know people who do this?

The bottom line is this. For a believer love is not a feeling, it is an act of the will.

This is where I want to stop the teaching time today. I hope you’ve enjoyed the comparison between worldly and Christian love. More than this I hope you are challenged by the knowledge of the standard of love that we are all, as followers of Jesus Christ, to aim for.